I know that by using that title I run the great risk of exciting people, most of all my father-in-law thinking that I am pregnant, but alas, I AM NOT PREGNANT! (Nor do I intend to be for quite a few years, for the record!) But I just couldn’t resist because it’s baby season for animals and it proved evident on our most recent trip.
Wes and I traveled down to South Luangwa National Park with Lauren and Travis for the holidays. We flew to Mfuwe early Friday morning on a small jet where there’s a row of one seaters and a row of two seaters. 45 minutes later we landed in Mfuwe where we were greeted by Lamek, our guide for our stay while at Sanctuary Retreat Puku Ridge Camp.We gathered ourselves into a van that was playing typical african music, which is quite lovely and took off into the wild. In the 40 minutes it took us to ride from the airport to our camp, we were able to see hippos, crocs, elephants, giraffes, impala, warthogs, and tons of beautiful birds! This was all from a van, just driving through the park, and we weren’t even searching for them!
Once we got to the camp we were greeted by our hosts at the lodge who gave us freshly boxed mango juice and a cold wet cloth. I’m never quite sure what to do when people hand out cold towels because my first reaction is to use it on my armpits, which are very much moist at this point, but I am a refined young lady and decided to just dab my face and neck with it. We were then led to the main area which is completely out doors overlooking a valley of green lush. Our room was a big tent complete with a balcony, indoor and outdoor
showers, bathtub, king bed, and a gym box!
After our tour our host proceeded to tell us our schedule for the stay and it goes as follows:
5:15am -Wake up with tea and/or coffee with biscuits
5:30am -Breakfast at main lodge
6:00am -Game Drive
10:00am -Return to lodge for lunch
12:00-3:00pm – Siesta
3:30pm – High tea & biscuits
4:00pm – Game drive
6:00pm -Tea time while on game drive
7:30pm – Return to lodge for dinner
And we were usually in bed by 8:30-9pm!
Being a tea drinker, I’ve never consumed so much tea and biscuits in such a short span of time. In fact, we all got so used to drinking tea or coffee, that we began to crave it! However, drinking so much tea and water can come at a cost, an especially risky one when you’re out on a game drive in the need of a good squat. I cannot tell you how rough having to pee is whilst on a safari drive, so unless you’ve personally experienced it, you’d know but for those who have not, I’ll describe for you.
Just picture yourself on the Indiana Jones ride and the Jungle Cruise from Disneyland. Have you pictured it yet? Okay, now add the element of real animals, pump up the rough driving to about 10 and you might just be there. The first time the urge hit, we had just passed a herd of Painted dogs, which while they look harmless, are more dangerous and vicious than Lions, so I thought I’d wait to pee for a good distance. Finally, our guide pulled us over in front of a bunch of baboons and motioned towards a bush. Both Lauren and I had to go, so I let her go first but our guide then motioned to me just to go behind the truck, next to the road. Being in fear I might sneak a leak from all the holding, I took my chance and popped a squat behind the truck, next to the road. I’ll tell you this, it is very thrilling to be looked at by a baboon family fearing it might fling its poo at you and also wondering if you’re going to moon the next group of foreigners on their game drive.
The second time the urge hit, we were looking at a beautiful pride of lions. Instinct told me it was a bad idea and fortunately for myself, I listened and joked with my guide that he’d better get us out of there quick or I might become their first drink and meal since the Zebra! We seemed to drive for a very long time, (remember minutes while having to pee, turn into hours, it’s scientific!), with every bump and muddy swerve feeling like fear that I will relive my pant peeing days of old. Both Wes and I were mad with the urge and joked we would just be happy to stick our butts out the end of the truck and pee as we rode. Wes pointed out that the task would be easy for him, but might prove a bit more difficult for me. It’s times like these, I wish I could pee as easily as guys. With a prompt reminder to our guide that we needed to stop, he pulled off to the side in front of some warthogs. I once again popped a squat behind a bush, making sure to check my surroundings and pee only to look up and see the warthog looking unimpressed with my stream. T’was a humbling experience.
Now that you’ve heard my pee stories, I’ll just show you the greatness that was our safari and the tons of baby animals we saw because no words can quite describe the beauty we got to witness. Go ahead and click on the pictures for bigger viewing.